A Hot Cold Summer Read online

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Especially “Tomorrow Land” and Sammy. I love that violin part he wrote.’

  As soon as I’d said it, I realised I’d hurt Jack’s feelings. I hadn’t meant to, but I was just so thrilled we had added a violin part to the song. ‘Jack, the whole gig will be great. You know what I meant.’

  ‘Yeah, Sammy’s awesome,’ he said, without looking at me.

  I felt like rolling my eyes at him. ‘Yeah, he is,’ I said, because I couldn’t be bothered with his feelings right now.

  ‘Really?’ asked Jack, looking up at me. I saw how serious he seemed and I knew I’d been right. He was jealous about Sammy and me. I didn’t know if I should set him straight or just let him feel what I’d felt when he’d been with Asha.

  ‘You’ve eaten all the bacon,’ I said, pointing to the empty plate.

  ‘I can cook more,’ he said, getting up.

  I laughed. ‘No, it’s fine. I’ve eaten my body weight!’

  Then Jack really surprised me by bursting out with, ‘I wish you were living here, Frank.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘No, well, you know, then you could be in the band all the time,’ he said, blushing a bit. ‘We’re going to have to audition for a new singer after you leave. If you were living here then it would just be easy.’

  The band. It was like his cover for how he felt. I could have called him on it. I could have even told him how I felt. But instead I just nodded, agreeing. ‘Yeah, that’d be great if I was in the band, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘I was thinking that maybe, before you go, we could record “Tomorrow Land”,’ said Jack.

  ‘Really?’ I’d love to go home with a recording.

  He nodded. ‘Yeah. The band’s up for it. And so is Sammy. We can use the studio at his posh school. What do you think?’

  I was so pleased that he’d thought to ask everyone and arrange it and spring it on me like a surprise, like a present. It was a lovely idea.

  ‘Awesome,’ I said. ‘That would be amazing.’

  Jack smiled at me and reached out to grab my hands. He squeezed them and gave me a silly grin. I couldn’t believe how right it felt holding his hands.

  ‘You know, Jack, I might be coming back soon,’ I said, causing him to look surprised. ‘Mum’s been offered a job for a bit over here and I might come with her. What do you think?’ I asked, hoping he’d say he wanted me to.

  But he didn’t say anything. He just looked me straight in the eyes and grinned. A massive, cute, gorgeous grin that said absolutely everything it needed to say. And then he leant forward, and kissed me.

  Suddenly, all my feelings for Jack came rushing back. My knees buckled and my heart raced. I thought that maybe the decision to come back here wouldn’t be so hard after all.

  Go back and choose all over again!

  ‘Okay, I’ll talk to him,’ I finally agreed.

  ‘Really?’ said Asha excitedly. ‘Oh my god. That’s brilliant. Thanks so much.’

  We sat there for a moment, not saying anything.

  ‘So, do you want to go talk to him now?’ asked Asha. ‘I’ll wait up here and see what he says.’

  No, I don’t want to go and talk to him now! I wanted to say. I’d agreed to help Asha because I felt sorry for her, but it still wasn’t easy for me to go and tell the boy I’d liked for so long that he should get back with his girlfriend.

  ‘Maybe we should just give him a bit of time,’ I said, stalling. ‘I mean, I can talk to him, but he could still be upset about it. I don’t know how he’ll react.’ I figured it was probably best not to tell Asha that Jack was already acting like she was last week’s news. ‘Let’s leave it till later.’

  ‘You’re probably right.’ Asha sighed. ‘Thanks, Frankie. Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’

  It was later. Much later. Like the next day. In my defence I hadn’t seen much of Jack, but I guess I was also putting it off. The last time I’d really spoken to him I’d told him I didn’t want to sing his songs, so I think we’d been avoiding each other. But now I could hear Jack rattling around in the kitchen and I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. He gave me a little smile as I walked in.

  ‘What are you up to today?’ he asked.

  ‘Haven’t decided,’ I said coolly.

  ‘Want to come to Camden Market with me?’

  ‘Ah,’ I stalled.

  ‘There’s heaps of great vinyl,’ he added, knowing that would make it hard for me to resist.

  I knew this would be my chance to talk to him about Asha. But I had absolutely no idea how he’d react. And even though I’d agreed to talk to him, I wasn’t looking forward to it. At all.

  The weird thing was that since Asha had told me that Jack had talked about me all the time, I’d been hoping something might happen, but nothing had. Maybe he was broken-hearted over Asha, but he sure didn’t show it. So I’d sort of accepted that he must have been talking about me all the time as a friend - in the same way that, back home, Tom Matthews had told his girlfriend Jasmine about my singing. At least I had no shortage of friends.

  ‘If you want to come, we should go soon. All the good stuff sells out early,’ said Jack.

  ‘Okay,’ I said, making myself a peanut butter sandwich. ‘I’ll just grab my stuff.’

  Mum had already gone out with Tina, so I left her a note telling her where I was going.

  ‘Frankie, you ready?’ Jack called up the stairs.

  I took a long breath. Not really. ‘Yeah, coming,’ I shouted back.

  Jack and I opened the door and found Sammy standing on the front step.

  ‘Um, hi,’ he said, smiling nervously. ‘I was just about to knock.’

  I was really pleased to see him.

  Sammy looked up at me. ‘I was coming to see you, Frankie. I would have sent you a text but I didn’t have your number.’

  Jack looked a bit shocked.

  ‘Sammy walked me home the other night,’ I reminded Jack, smiling a little at his surprise.

  Jack nodded. ‘Yeah, course. After the party.’

  Then we all stood on the step, just looking around, nobody really knowing what to do or say, until Jack said, ‘Well, we’re heading to Camden Market, wanna come?’

  ‘Oh, um, no, that’s okay. What about if I come by later, Frankie? I’ll bring my violin,’ he said.

  I nodded. ‘Yeah, that’d be great.’

  Sammy and Jack said goodbye and I watched Sammy walk away before realising that Jack was looking at me strangely.

  ‘What?’ I said.

  He shrugged. ‘Nothing. Just surprised by your new BFF.’

  I shrugged, wondering about his attitude. ‘He’s nice. We talked about music.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ said Jack. I knew he was feeling jealous or something like that, but actually he had no right. He’d been a bit of a pain lately, and if Asha was telling the truth he’d obviously made her feel just as jealous about me as he’d made me jealous of her. It was about time he felt it back.

  The market was amazing. And Jack was right. There were heaps of stalls selling old vinyl. I couldn’t wait to start rifling through boxes.

  ‘This is incredible,’ I said, looking around and not knowing where to start.

  ‘Yep. I really wanted to bring you here. I knew you’d love it,’ said Jack, his eyes smiling.

  I wanted him to stop saying things like that. It just confused me. I needed to talk to him about Asha, not get all mixed up about how he felt.

  ‘I’ll meet you back here in an hour,’ I said, needing to escape Jack for a bit and wander around on my own.

  ‘Oh. Okay,’ said Jack, sounding surprised that I didn’t want to shop with him. Then he pointed out an old fifties caravan. ‘Meet you near the doughnut van. We can share a bag when you’ve finished shopping.’

  As I poked around, I realised I could spend days at the market. I found something I wanted to buy at almost every stall. But I just wanted a few really special things to take home with me.
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  After I finally decided on which records to buy, I headed back to the doughnut van. Jack was stuffing his face, and I decided if I was going to say anything to him then now was the time.

  ‘So, Asha came and saw me yesterday,’ I said.

  He looked at me strangely over his bag of doughnuts. I took one, hoping the sugar would help me tell him what I’d agreed to tell him.

  ‘Why?’ he asked.

  ‘She wants me to talk to you for her,’ I said, feeling stupid even saying it. ‘About why she kissed Sean.’

  ‘And you agreed?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah. I did, because she said she was jealous,’ I said.

  Jack smiled. ‘Of what?’

  Great. Now I felt even more stupid. According to Jack, she had nothing to even feel jealous about. How did I get caught up in all of this?

  ‘Me.’ There. I’d said it.

  Jack just nodded. Took another doughnut from his bag and bit into it, sending jam dripping down his chin. He wiped it away with his hand.

  ‘So she kissed Sean because of you,’ he said.

  ‘That’s what she said.’

  ‘And do you believe her?’ he asked me.

  I nodded. I did. It was a dumb thing to do, but I still thought she’d told me the truth.

  ‘So, what do I do about it, Frank?’ he raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you want me to get back with her?’

  Suddenly spending time jamming with Sammy seemed like a much better thing to be doing than hanging out at this market. I didn’t want to talk to Jack about all this. It seemed like he was just fishing for compliments, and I wasn’t even sure he was taking it seriously.

  ‘You know what, Jack? I don’t care what you do. Go out with her. Or not. It’s nothing to do with me,’ I said as I handed him half my doughnut. I didn’t even like doughnuts.

  ‘Right,’ he said, sounding cross.

  ‘I’m going back to the house. I want to catch up with Sammy,’ I said, and walked away. Part of me was hoping Jack would chase after me and tell me Asha was right to be jealous.

  I heard him call after me and I didn’t turn around, so he chased after me and grabbed my arm.

  ‘Frankie, I’m sorry,’ he said.

  I turned round to face him. ‘Me too.’

  He looked really sad. I wondered what else he was going to say.

  ‘You’re right, I made Asha jealous and it wasn’t fair. I used to talk about you all the time. When I started going out with Asha I wasn’t over you.’

  ‘Oh.’ I was surprised at how honest he was being.

  ‘I’ll go and see her now,’ he said with a weak smile. ‘And apologise.’

  I was stunned. Even though I’d promised to talk to Jack, I didn’t actually think it would change his mind. But then I thought about everything I’d seen him do over the past few days: the way he was with me and her, the way he’d just disappeared last time. In my heart I knew that if Jack had really liked me, he wouldn’t have stopped emailing. And he wouldn’t have started dating Asha in the first place.

  ‘Yeah, you should go and see her,’ I said. I really meant it.

  Jack wasn’t the boy for me. I could enjoy his company and we could have fun hanging out, but he was like a gorgeous guitar that I could admire, but never really own. And that was okay.

  Go back and choose all over again!

  I leant up and Jack’s lips touched mine. And, like that, we were kissing. He reached his arms around my waist and pulled me close. I breathed him in and held his wet back.

  When we opened our eyes we both sort of jumped back from each other, like we were shocked we’d just kissed.

  ‘Oh, Frank, I’m so sorry,’ he said, moving away even further. ‘I didn’t … mean … to do that,’ he bumbled.

  Really? Why wasn’t he happy about it? I didn’t know what to say. Why did he keep doing this to me?

  I grabbed my bag from where it had slipped onto the ground and rushed out into the rain. I didn’t care if I got wet. I just wanted to get away from Jack as quickly as I could.

  ‘Frankie, wait,’ called Jack.

  I heard him calling my name, but I wouldn’t stop. I kept running, dodging through all the people and umbrellas. I had no idea where I was going. It was so rainy and grey that I couldn’t even see the streets properly. I figured I’d try to head back to where we’d got off the bus, then I’d get out of the rain and work out how to get back to Jack’s house.

  Actually, I didn’t even really want to go back. I just wanted to avoid Jack for the rest of the time I was in London.

  I spotted the massive Liverpool Street station building and ran straight across the road towards it. There was tooting and yelling as I ran across the street, but I kept going until I was under cover. I needed a plan. If I could have called Gen to come and help me I would have, but I couldn’t. I was cold and wet, and all alone in a massive city.

  But I knew it wasn’t going to do me any good to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I saw a sign for the toilets, and went in. I washed my face, dried off with paper towel, and pulled myself together. I was at one of London’s main train stations - surely it would connect with the station near Jack’s place? So with new resolve, I walked out of the loos, found a map of the Underground on the wall, and worked out how to get back.

  It was surprisingly easy to catch the Tube. Everything was so clearly signposted that even though I had to change lines a couple of times, I was back at Jack’s place in an hour. But I was relieved to get there. I couldn’t wait to get out of my wet clothes and have a hot chocolate.

  Mum was sitting in the lounge reading the paper when I walked through the front door. ‘Oh my goodness, look what the cat dragged in!’ she laughed.

  I looked at her and then, before I could stop myself, I started to cry.

  ‘Honey? Are you okay? Where’s Jack?’ Mum rushed over to me and hugged me. It made me cry more.

  ‘I’m okay. I’m just a bit cold,’ I managed.

  ‘Go upstairs and have a hot shower, then we’ll talk some more,’ Mum said firmly.

  After I’d had a shower and got changed into dry clothes, Mum and I sat drinking hot chocolates in the kitchen and I told her everything that had happened. Not just today, but right from the start - from when he’d stayed with us in Australia, and then the way he’d cut off contact with me, and the way he’d been towards me since we’d got here. I told her how confused I was, how I still really liked him and I thought that he liked me, but I didn’t want to get between him and Asha, even though Asha had kissed someone else.

  Mum just listened and then gave me a big kiss and a hug. ‘Honey, sometimes everything gets a bit messed up, but I bet Jack didn’t mean to hurt you,’ she said.

  ‘But he did. Twice,’ I said, feeling really sad. ‘And I don’t want to see him again.’

  ‘Well, you don’t have much choice, Frankie. We’re not leaving for another ten days,’ she said. ‘You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel.’

  I knew she was right but I hated the idea of seeing him, and I really hated the idea of having to ever see Asha again. It just made me so mad that he was going out with her when he could have been going out with me.

  ‘I don’t think I can. At least, not today,’ I said.

  She nodded. ‘Sometimes it’s good to have a bit of time to think about these things.’

  Then Mum got this huge smile on her face and grabbed my hand. ‘Come on, I know what will cheer you up. Get your coat. We’re going out.’

  All the way back to the house, I kept touching my ears to make sure my earrings were real. Mum was right. It had cheered me up, and it even made me feel a bit braver about facing Jack. If I could have studs shot through my earlobes then I could face a stupid boy who didn’t know what he was missing.

  Before we went inside, I said, ‘Mum, can you take a photo of my ears with my phone? I want to message Gen.’

  She laughed. ‘Sure, honey.’

  So I held up my hair and Mum snapped a couple of photos.
I knew Gen would squeal when she saw them.

  When we opened the front door, Jack was waiting for me in the lounge. Mum gave my hand a squeeze and disappeared upstairs.

  ‘I left about a hundred messages,’ he said, sounding angry. ‘I didn’t know if you were okay.’

  ‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ I said, sounding as angry as I felt.

  ‘Frankie,’ he said, his voice softening as he walked towards me.

  ‘What?’ I said sharply.

  I expected him to get angry but instead he started to smile. I wanted to kill him. It wasn’t funny. He’d really hurt me. And now he was being all cute and gorgeous.

  ‘It’s not funny!’ I said, fuming.

  ‘It is a bit,’ he said, as he kept getting closer.

  I turned to go upstairs. I’d had enough of his games. But before I could leave, he reached out and grabbed my hand.

  ‘Frankie,’ he said, pulling me back towards him. ‘I went and told Asha. We’ve been fighting since you got here. I guess I still liked you. Anyway, I’m sorry I kissed you before I broke up with her, but it’s all done now,’ he said quietly.

  My heart was exploding. He’d broken up with her. For me!

  ‘Really?’ I asked. ‘You’ve broken up?’

  He nodded and then smiled at me. That gorgeous Jack smile. And I smiled back. Neither of us said anything for a minute. Then he leant down and kissed me again and it was even better than last time.

  I could have stood there all day kissing him, but then he moved his hands across my face, and up over my ears.

  ‘Ow!’ I said, moving away.

  ‘What, Frankie?’ he said, looking worried.

  Laughing at his expression, I lifted up my hair to show him my ears. ‘I just got my ears pierced. They still hurt!’

  ‘Cute,’ he said, smiling.

  I had so many questions about what would happen when I left. Would he email this time? Would we Skype? Would it work, being in two different countries?

  As Jack leant down to kiss me again, I decided the questions could all wait for another day. Right now we had more than enough to do.